The ''I Can'' icon.

November is over and December has begun. And with that, 2015 will soon take over the place of 2014. That means new rounds, new opportunities. But first, we gotta make new plans. New intentions, and set up new goals to achieve.

If I look back at 2014, I can tell you, I have been through a lot this year. But I can say that most of the highlights were good and full with happiness, Alhamdoulillah! But I have nèver... never, ever experienced so much stress as this year. It was hard and difficult. I knew that studying psychology wouldn't be easy, but I didn't expect to not have enough of a vacation of two month - without exaggerating). It took me so long, after college started again, to finally start with my school work again, and to start studying for the exams of the first semester (I seriously started to study for the exams like 2 weeks before they started... but Alhamdoulillah, I passed them all with good grades).

And of course a lot has changed in my privat life. Not only did I pick up my blog again, I haven't had enough time to do things that I really like to do. It has been too long since I have read a book. And oh my Allah, it has been so long since I updated my works on Wattpad... pfff.

Anyway... As I said. New rounds, new opportunities. I decided today to stay home, in the warmth, with a cup of thee and write down all the things I wish for the new year. After that I took the time the think about how I want to achieve these wishes.

Here's what I got:



1. More writing.

As I said: it has been too long since I have wrote a word down for myself, since I wrote a word down for a story, poem, or lyrics. And I really have noticed that I miss it so much. Writing used to help me shake everything off. I could forget everything, and just create my own world... the story I wanted to experience and to live in. I've been so down lately, and so dreamy and ''lacking'' (My friends told me this several times). And that is - I'm certain of it - because I didn't do anything with my inspiration, and if I only get more inspiration and there is no way of putting it on paper... It keeps wandering through my thoughts, without any purpose. And that's bad, because that will cause me to lose focus on everything else.
My dream, which I have since my childhood, is to write a good book and become a well-known author. The only way to achieve this is to continue writing, to not take it for advantage, and to set it up as a priority, and not as ''just a hobby'' I have.

2. Get through my second year of college with high grades

I ADORE the field I'm getting trained in. Psychology is so interesting, so broad and it's amazing how you're skills grow with the day! Alhamdoulillah. But I really want to graduate with high grades and make my parents proud. And after my Bachelor I want to have enough choices and opportunities to start with a Master I like and I'm interested in. And graduating with high grades will help with that.

And of course, it's a duty for a muslim to take every opportunity in life to gain knowledge, and it would be a waste to not work hard for your education.

''And among people and moving creatures and grazing livestock are various colors similarly. Only those fear Allah , from among His servants, who have knowledge. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Forgiving.''
- 35.28

3. Read books I did buy, but haven't open yet.

This is another thing I really miss. Reading and Writing are the two things that I really started to miss in my life.
Previous year, I've bought a lot of books and every time I was paying off, I told myself: this time I will definitely start reading. This is book is so amazing, I have to start reading it as soon as possible. Oh come on Arwa, you can read a book in like two days or even one. You definitely got the time.....

Euh... Uhm... No... Naha... Nope. I don't got the time.

Thinking back about all the books - which I actually can see right now, in front of me, in my bookcase - It feels kinda like a waste of money: the fact that they have stand there for more than three months without being opened ónce (!!!), is a really weird thought to me.
This needs to be changed!

I really miss that! Staying up all night just to read a good book. It felt so good. I used to stay up night after night after night... And still go to school the day after. The times my mom stormed angry into my room in the middle in night - while I thought that everyone was asleep and I could sneaky read my book - hissing ''Are you crazy?'' is countless.

I will start immediately. In fact: I did start yesterday evening! I did make a good start with the book If she only knew, by Lisa Jackson. I might do a review about it. Let me know if you would like that!

4. Get my driving licence 

Yes I know! I'm 19 and still don't have my licence? Yes, is sad, but true. In the past years, I never really saw the value of it. I always took my bicycle if I had to be somewhere. I love it. And when I started college, I got a card with which I could travel for free and unlimited to anywhere, with the bus, tram and train. And that was so amazingly handy! Why would I worry about the licence, did I thought.

But yeah anyway. Now I started with the lessons. So soon insha'Allah I will be able to drive a car, on my own. But that can't take too long, because I'm not rich or something like that.

5. Live healthier

The previous time - december, 2013 - I did this, one of my goals was: Doing more workouts and more running. I started well. Like the first five months were OK. But then I realized that college was tougher than I thought. So I had to go easy on that one: I kinda failed, thus.
This year I won't do the same. I will still do workouts (it's something I actually started to love!) But no more running. I just don't got the time, nor the energy. College is sucking up all my energy! And it has no use to go for a run for only two times a month.
Instead, I decided to start eating healthy. So... bye bye döner, shoarma and fries. Subway it is!

No seriously. My brother told me a couple weeks ago:

''It's like 1+1=2. Garbage in = Garbage out.You are what you eat. So don't be cheap, fast, easy or fake.''

This quote just seriously opened my eyes and motivated me. Eating healthy is already more than a 50 percent of a healthy body.

6. More Blogging

One of the highlights of 2014 is that I picked up blogging again. I did close my previous blog about two years ago. And I actually intended to move to a other domain. But when I closed the blog, I felt how peaceful my life started to be. I had more time to things with friends, family, for my self. I even could hang out sometimes without thinking about anything I had to finish. That felt so good that I kinda let slip away the intention of picking up the leads again for my new blog.

And after a while... I started to miss it again. I felt good for a while, but not for long. so I decided to come back. Too bad that I have to start from the beginning again, but two years is just too long for a break. And it's a choice I made so have to live with the consequences. But I' doing my best and I know what I want! And your support does more for me than you can imagine.

7. Escape if I need to and have more faith in God.

Now that's a thing I really need to work hard on. I have the bad habit to keep thinking about problems or complexities, whether they're mine or someone else's. I can't let it go, unless I find a solution for it. Without even realizing that some things are just the way they are, and that there isn't a solution except for patience and trust in Allah.

My Mama told me once: ''You can't have everything under control. Not everything lies in your hands. For that, there is a God. So put your trust in Allah.''

And to be honest, I start to learn it and to realize it many times. Times I just tell myself: you're worrying. Will it help? No. Go & do something fun.
But I think it would be good if there were more of these moments.

8. Read Harry Potter (again).

OK. This might be a silly one, but I have to make it official. To be clear. I've read the HP sage four times and I feel a little sad about the fact that I couldn't make five times of it in the past three years. I adore Harry Potter. It's the first book I ever read after I got my first library card when I was nine years old. J. K. Rowling is also (besides Stephanie Laurens and Eloisa James) my role model, my idol. The way she write and plays with words is just amazing; to not to speak of her amazing fantasy. I seriously wonder how ''getting inspiration out of things'' works in her brain. Oke, I'm being weird right now.

This is how reading feels, and that is just an amazing feeling you experience. While reading Harry Potter I experienced this feeling for the first time. And that why I became such a HP-aholic, that's why I became such a bookaholic and the writing style of J.K. Rowling in Harry Potter is why I became such a write-aholic, with the dream to write a book and become a well-known writer one day. Thank you, J.K. Rowling!

8. Make more art

When I was younger - in high school actually - I loved to draw and to paint. I did it a lot and almost all of my money went to that stuff. When I became older, busier, and more boring I stopped doing it. I don't know why actually, but I found it pity. I still, sometimes, catch myself drawing things in my school books or notebooks, without being conscious of it. And I need (so does my room!) to express all my creativity and inspiration somehow. So, that's a things I gonna want to do more.

9. Being myself and stand for what I want.

This one speaks for itself. The past years I have changed a lot. And I hear it from a lot of people. Even old high school friends, which I haven's seen in ages: after we meet again to talk little they always tell me, ''You just seem to have a new personality.'' They always mean positive, Alhamdoulillah, but it leaves me thinking and wondering, what did actually change me? Did I grow older? That's it?
No. I started  to dare more. I opened my mouth more often to let people hear what I think. Maybe it's a funny thing to tell: during high school I was pretty insecure about my ethnicity and hijab. Oh I was proud, don't get me wrong. Everyone knew that.. But I was just a teenager who just wanted friends. Secretly I was so insecure, and especially about my hijab (I was the first and only girl who was wearing a hijab on that school, which was a ''white school'' as we call it here in Holland. That means that a great percentage of the pupils it's ethnicity is Dutch, at mine this percentage was around the 93%). But I never talked to anyone about it. I kept it for myself a long, long time... until I slowly - in baby steps - build my self-esteem on my own. It took a long time, but I didn't want to tell anybody or ask for help. It's not that I didn't dare... No, I didn't want to. I felt like it was a problem of my own, and I had to deal with it, because no one could've helped me. The question, of course, is whether this right or not. But honestly? I'm happy I never did tell anyone. I learned to be myself on my own. And I couldn't have learn that better from anyone else but myself.


10. Dare more.

The quotes you read here are two of my favorite quotes. Simply because they changed a lot in me. I've read them for the first time about a year ago. And it did take some time for to start acting upon them. But it helped so much.
From the moment I realized hoe true they actually are, I started to feel less fear at moment I usually would feel fear. And I've experienced it. Just get over your fear and you find yourself in a higher level, you wanted to be, but never dared.
And I definitely want more of that. Especially with the huge changes that are coming in life next year! I will get my first real job in the field of psychology, Insha'Alah, so I really need more of it!

11. Enjoy every little thing

And last but not least: Enjoy every moment of your life! Life in Dunya is a blessing of Allah and we shall spend it right. Little things are the most important in life, the things that matter. And those are the things that will remain with us, for ever!

Don't forget the ''I Can'' Icon. We can and we will. We always have a choice just try to choose right.

 May 2015 be a good year, with a lot of khair and baraka.

Ameen.

Much Love <3

Arwa